...provided by The Free Advice Man:
THE FOLLOWING ADVICE IS INTENDED FOR MATURE PERSONS.
Perhaps the single most important and best advice I have given concerning relationships, be they platonic friendships, deeply intimate friendships or casually intimate friendships is this:
Do unto your friends as they would really want to be done unto, or do nothing at all!
That is also known as the Golden Rule or The Universal Law of Love (which is the real basis of The TORAH).
This does not mean that you have to be indiscretely or incosiderately honest. For there really are times when something that you definitely must reveal to a friend, must not be revealed immediatly (such as when someone close dies unnexpectedly or when your friend does something unintentionally embarrassing in public that hurts your feelings). Finding the right time, place and circumstances to tell the truth is one of the most important ways to avoid the risk of losing a friend over a serious miscommunication on your part and misperception on theirs.
Another related piece of advice (related to The Golden Rule) is NEVER CHEAT ON SOMEONE YOU CLAIM TO LOVE! True cheating is not only wrong it is the source of a very significant percentage of the world's suffering and wars! Yes! Actual wars have been caused or prolongued because of infidelity!
That said, it is very important to distinguish between what is really CHEATING and what is not!
Couples and other groups of intimate friends who are Zwingers, Polyamorous Lovers or in Loving Extended Bizexual Relationships are NOT CHEATERS and are NOT CHEATING!
CHEATING is when you allow anyone whom you are intimate with to think that you are their only intimate partner when in fact you are going behind their back, regardless of the reason, against their trust in you!
CHEATING not only puts that person in danger of being exposed to harmful viruses and bacteria, but also exposes that person to dangers they probably would not be willing to accept, and that is the most unethical thing any person of mature age can do to another person of mature age! (The principle behind this advice on cheating actually applies to other kinds of relationships too!)
While it is true that some few, sick, couples deliberately hope to enter into relationships where cheating will likely happen; for the vast majority of people CHEATING is the worst, most unethical thing ever!
If you happen to be someone who knows that they need more than one intimate relationship at the same time then it is incumbent upon you (proper of you) to only enter into a relationship with someone who shares your desire for such!
Obviously anyone who is bizexual is best advised to only enter into an intimate relationship with other bizexual persons, and almost all true bizexuals are Polyamorous or at least desiring of more than one partner.
Anyone who is strictly homozexual should not enter into an intimate relationship with someone who is not for the same basic reason. After all, it is not fair for a married woman or man to find out that the man pr woman they married was CHEATING with someone of the same zex!
Serial Monogamists should make it clear to their current partner that they are what they are and that there is no guarantee of any committment at all! Mind you, serial monogamy, be it Hetero- or Homo-zexual, is not the best way to go about living, as eventually one can find oneself all alone in their later years, and such relationships are unlikely to be based on true honesty and Love!
All mature intimate relationships should be based on Aforehanded Honesty of Intention (i.e. Honesty in general), because without True Honesty there can be no Real Trust and without such Real Trust True Love is Impossible!
NO RELATIONSHIP, whether Platonic or otherwise, should be based on anything less than Honest, Respect and some form of True Love!
True Love is often misidentified as Lifelong Committment. That is a false understanding, for one can Truly Love another person and yet reach a point where intimacy and/or committment is impossible! What most people really mean when they say that they seek True Love is that they seek a Lifelong Committed Relationship that is based on mutual interests, including Monogamous Love!
The wiser person is the one who before she or he enters into a new relationship:
a. Knows for herself or himself the exact kind of relationship she or he desires, wants and seeks.
b. Is totally straightforward about their full intentions and desires with the person they are about to be intimate with, before becoming intimate (except in situations where both consentual partners understand that their act of intimacy comes with no guarantees whatsoever).
c. Is already fully prepared, in every imaginable way, for rejection or for the possibility that what first seemed like a do-able relationship turns out to be impossible!
Intimate Relationships are always risky, even with the best of intentions, but the wiser person should always seek out similarly wise persons who share their zexual identity and/or lifestyle, and who know that to be able to be totally honest about what kind of relationship you truly desire you must have realistic expectations and understand how harmful it is to get into any long-term committment in which everyone has not already come to understand that life is too short and too fragile to be too picky and intolerant!
IMPORTANT: Until you are almost certain, if not fully certain, that someone you are intimate with is the right match, the use of Safe Zex methods and Condons is strongly advised! (Condons are spelled with an m before the s, and Zex is spelled with an S).
CONCERNING FAILED INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
If an intimate relationships fails it is almost always the fault of both persons! Regardless of which person caused the most offense or difficulty, you are at least at fault for not having done you utmost to seek to be as objective about the other person, especially when you were first dating them or being non-committed! And you are very liklely at fault for not being able to find a better way to communicate things and for letting things get way out of hand. In any case: do not actively seek to restore the relationship at all! If someone does not appreciate and respect you enough then they don't deserve you and it is their loss and not yours! If you feel you took too great a risk in exposing yourself physically to another person then hope for the best and avoid being so careless in the future! There are many clever ways to test people in an effort to insure that they are really suitable for the kind of relationship you really need and desire. No matter how much betrayal and/or hurt you may feel or how empty /orscared you may feel after someone has left you or let you go, you have no right to feel any right to harm them or seek any kind of revenge or even to communicate with them against their will! The best advice in a failed relationship situation is to understand that if there really is any real hope at all for that person to also want you back you must actually think and act as though there is no hope! And to be able to do just that you must understand that if a relationship is born of True Love then the split-up will not last long, but waiting for the other person to return or even expecting them to come back is really the worst and most dangerous thing you can do! And remember this: there are over 6 Billion people alive in the world today, so you'd have to be really stupid and/or sick to think that he or she is the only right one for you! The very idea that there can only be One Single Person in The Whole Wide World right for you is actually an insult to at least thousands of other people, and proves that you do not yet have the wisdom to see that to really Love someone, anyone is to have Love for almost everyone else! Which does not mean that you have to Love the actions, ways of living and physical bodies of all other persons! For Love is all about Soul and Spiritual Awareness, as well as an Awesome Awareness of The Infinite Universe!
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